I saw my daughter trapped in an abusive relationship but could do nothing to help. She wasn’t ready to leave. So I did some planning and when she was ready to escape I had options to offer her. I am glad that she called to say, “Mom I am ready!” because I had been ready and prepared for a long time. I’m grateful that New Beginnings is there as a resource for families and friends of victims offering information, support, and safety planning.
Being given the phone number to New Beginnings was like having a lifeline thrown to me as I was drowning in rough seas. I immediately began attending weekly support groups where I learned I was not alone; it wasn’t my fault. Thanks to New Beginnings I discovered the courage to survive.
For eight years I experienced terrible physical abuse from my husband and his family. Several times I tried to get away. I kept moving to a different town, getting a new job and a new apartment - starting the kids in a new school. But he would always find us. Then one day it got so bad the police finally arrested him and we were able to disappear into the safety of New Beginnings’ Shelter.
The emotional abuse coupled with the physical violence had me convinced that I was crazy. I was accused of doing terrible things that I could not remember. It took me a long time to learn I was not crazy and I had done nothing wrong. Thanks to New Beginnings’ support groups I learned to be whole, and proud of the person I’ve become.
In my country, your parents decide who you will marry. And that’s what happened to me. Soon after the wedding my husband and his family decided to leave for the United States and start a business. I was all alone and forced to work day and night, even after I had my son. For years my husband would beat me and belittle me in front of my son. I was not permitted to spend time with him to be the mother I needed to be. But one day my son told a counselor at school what was happening at home. That’s how I got to New Beginnings. New Beginnings helped my son learn how to be a child and I have learned how to be a good mother.
Because of the abuse he witnessed my son became terribly depressed. He was in third grade and he wanted to kill himself. It broke my heart. I was attending a New Beginnings support group and the advocate helped set up a meeting for me with the Seattle Public Schools to develop a plan to help him. And the advocate helped me get him counseling. He is doing so much better now. New Beginnings helped me give him the skills and support he needs so he won’t become an abuser or allow abuse to happen to him.
My New Beginnings advocate helped me to develop a safety plan so I could survive eighteen months of stalking. She assisted me with legal issues so I could break my lease and move into safe housing. She always was there with words of encouragement. She guided me to become who I am today.
When I came to this country with my husband he promised me I could work and go to school to learn English. But once we were here he controlled every part of my life. He hit me and called me terrible names in front of my children. I saw on TV a story about New Beginnings and called and got into the Shelter and then the Transitional Housing Program. New Beginnings helped me get my divorce and they helped me go to school and get a job. It was as if I have a new family in America. A family that will support me.
My husband used to beat me often, but it got worse when I was pregnant. Because of his violence I lost my first baby. I was determined to protect this one. I called New Beginnings’ Helpline and thankfully they had a Shelter bed available. A few weeks later I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy, baby boy. Thanks to New Beginnings we are now free, safe and happy.
I never understood domestic violence victims until I became one. Then I realized that I had to choose the right and safest time for me to escape. Thank goodness my friends and family were there and so was New Beginnings.
*Names and other identifying information have been changed to protect the safety of your Special Guest.