From early childhood, abuse - both physical and emotional - was no stranger. I learned to stand up to the pain, no matter what anyone did to me. This meant they could not break me, they could not own me. My cries for help came through rages, not tears. I challenged anyone to try to hurt me, but theyd never break me.
I left home at 12 and saw young girls beaten with hot metal coat hangers for not making enough money. I was forced to take drugs and be raped. At 15, I was pregnant. That man left me, saying I was only good for sex. I tried to kill myself. I survived, but no one was there for me. I had an abortion, and surrendered to the fact that no one cared for me, I hated this world, I hated everyone in it. I went to one institution after another, and in and out of abusive relationships. At 28, I became paranoid, seeing rapists faces everywhere I went. Drinking helped me forget. My spirit, body and mind were broke. I finally went to New Beginnings and found a gentle spirit. I had to make a choice. Owning yourself and learning to care and love yourself is hard work. Abuse is oppression wrapped beautifully in a bow. Now I have no more fear.